It's been a rough day for mom. It all started early this morning. . .12:30am to be exact! I showed up at 10:30pm last night for night duty. I had taken a 4 hour break to see my family and came back for the night. MOm was sleeping when I got here and she hadn't had a morphine since that morning. We woke her up for the morphine, but didn't give her a sleeping pill. Then at 12:30 am she woke up and she showed no signs of going back to sleep. She ate ice non-stop and drank water. She even ate a small container of applesauce. Mom has been pretty quiet lately, but that didn't hold true last night. She was so talkative! I couldn't always understand her, but that didn't stop her from talking. She would repeat everything I would say until she could pronounce it perfectly. I recited the scripture early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise, hoping she would get the hint. But she didn't. She just said healthy, wealthy, and wise over and over! I even got her to say my name over and over. (She will only say Kanani, Kuliana, and sometimes Leilani. Malia and I are the forgotten daughters!)
She said something to the effect of good today. That reminded us of the song have I done any good in the world today? We sang it the best we could. I didn't know all the words so I hummed while she sang(even though they weren't the right words) Then she said " I know you can find the words to that song. So I lazily got up and found the hymn book, looked up the right page and sang.

She said something about the color blue. She started singing a song about- coloring the matches blue. When she was done I said "I think you just made that up." She turned to me and slurred, "well yes I did." She was quite jolly the whole early early morning. All the while, I tried to sneak in a little shut eye, but as soon as I would get bundled up and my eyes closed she'd start up again! I was tired, but I didn't mind the one on one time we were getting. (maybe pay backs for all my teenage late nights she stayed awake waiting for me to return home safely)

She should have been exhausted, but she was still wide awake when the sun rose. I was eating breakfast and I could tell she was upset so I asked her if she was ok. "No, absolutely not." was her reply. Why not? "My mother, she used to like me, but now she won't let me go to sleep." No wonder she was up all night. Her mother is so excited for her to return home she wouldn't let her sleep! She is going to be received into so many loving arms when the time is right to move on.

Kanani came in the morning to change shifts and mom was starting to wear down. Her talking kept going and going but less and less understandable. Towards afternoon mom started sleeping good. But not soundly because she kept raising her arms and saying "Ow, ow" Were not quite sure where to pin point the pain, but surely it has to be from the spreading of the cancer.