I can't help but think of mom and where she is at right now. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. What a terrible time this would be if we didn't know we could be reunited with her again or to know that she is happy and her Spirit is alive carrying on the work on the other side. She is pain free and I know she is happy greeting and reacquainting herself with parents, grandparents, friends, and family. I can picture her smiling, laughing, and walking around trying to find all those she has done genealogy work for, or find her scripture heroes, and ancestors to thank them for paving the way. She's probably trying to find out where she can sign up for the heavenly host angel choir! I think she has probably been embraced by the Savior and has been told "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." Mom lived a full, rich, life blessing all those she knew. She will be missed, but because of the plan of salvation we will see her and be in her presence again!

Sunday Feb. 22

Viewing 6pm-8pm

Pima Stake Center

Monday Feb. 23:

Viewing 9 am

Funeral Services 10 am

Pima Stake Center

Our prayers have been answered. Mom has returned home to our Heavenly Father. We are so grateful her pain and suffering has ended. She is having a joyous reunion with her Mother, Daddy and all those who have gone before.

I've never said this before, but mom is doing terrible. She truly is. She moans and groans and we know she is in pain. We have been giving her more break through morphine. It's liquid so we can put it in her cheek. She's having problems sleeping due to her pain. She won't swallow her pills anymore and she has a cough. Her breathing is getting shallow too. It has been hard on all of us to see her this way. Please keep praying for her to be comfortable.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Yesterday was Dad's birthday. The big 67! We all pitched in to buy him a garmin. (GPS system for the van) We know he can definitely find a use for it! After singing and opening the present we had yummy apple pie that Malia had bough at Costco on the way from Yuma.

Oops I put the pictures from last to first!

After mom hibernated all day yesterday, Malia and Kuliana took the risk of not giving mom a sleeping pill. They were lucky. . .she slept all through the night! She woke up at 8am and was thirsty. She had to make up from fasting all day yesterday and she drank away. She has had no problem drinking from a straw today. When Kuliana asked mom this morning if she knew what day it was she said clearly "dad's birthday." Malia had mentioned it earlier, but mom knew when Kuliana asked later on. Kuliana and Malia sang Happy Birthday to Dad this morning and mom sang along singing the tune, but with her own words. Dad cried and gave mom a kiss. She then kept singing for 15 minutes.

Kuliana is going to be here all week and Malia until tomorrow. Leilani and Bam are flying in on Friday morning. Mom is lucky to have so many children that love her and want to help take care of her!

Mom really didn't wake up for the day today. We tried at 11 am to wake mom. We opened the curtains to let in the bright light and she didn't even flinch! We wanted to get her awake enough to swallow a morphine. We don't want her in any pain. Anything we did she couldn't keep her eyes awake for longer than 30 seconds. After trying for a while we got her to open her eyes long enough to put a straw in her mouth, but she wouldn't suck up any water. It's a chore for her to swallow. It is very difficult and she just doesn't want to do it anymore. Her tongue is very dry and we try to moisten it with all the moisturizers the nurses have given us. Dad ended up giving mom liquid break though morphine. Mom continued to sleep all day while the rest of us prepared for Alani's and Raely's baptism. Mom was still sleeping when we got home almost at 5pm. She woke up long enough for Alani and Raely to sing a baptism song that mom wrote for Malia more than 20 years ago! She grinned and said I'm eight. Mom wasn't responding to any of us today except for the grandkids. When Raely and Ashton came in to say hi she perked right up and gave them a smile.

Although mom has been progressively getting worse, I haven't felt her start to slip away until today. To see the vacancy in her eyes and her expressionless face has just hit home to me that this is real. This is the first time she hasn't been able to tell me hi after I tell her hi. That made me ache inside to be able to talk to her again. It pains me to see her this way.

Sleep is mom's main event for the day. Dad has mom on a strict rotating schedule in hopes to prevent bed sores and just to help give her body some motion. Mom's words aren't comprehendable, but when you say something she will repeat it with clarity, but on her own they don't make sense.

My sweet Kylee (5 yrs) loves her grandma. As soon as we get to Grandma's house she rushes in to see Grandma. She has been so sensitive to what is going on. She wants to be right by grandma the entire time. She talks to grandma, sings to her, rubs lotion on her arms, brings her water and just makes sure she is cared for. She has even taped pink hearts around the room. Kylee has given grandma kisses and has received them in return. She is learning how to just talk without needing any response. She has been so cute with mom.

We would like to give a really big thank-you to Jo Hughes. She faithfully brings fresh, yummy, ice that is the main source of mom's diet. We put it in mom's water (she knows when it's not ice cold), blend it in her shakes and she eats it plain. Thank-you Jo! We appreciate your kindness:)

Dad was alone today with Mom from 9am until about 2pm and he survived! Good job Dad, we knew you could do it! He is doing an awesome job taking care of Mom. The hospice nurse came today and so did the assistant that gives mom a bath. When Kanani and I showed up later this afternoon mom was sleeping, kinda, her eyes were closed but she was talking. . .in a different language. She seems in a different world today. Her eyes aren't focusing on you when you talk to her and she is distant.

Mom doesn't take Lasix any more! She hated that medicine. It makes you void to try to get rid of the swelling. Her arms are back to normal and her feet and legs are much better. She is starting to get sores though. Pray that they don't get any worse than they are. Most are mild, but could get worse.

Our thanks goes to Philis Jean. It seem like she always shows up just in time to do the dirty work(whatever it may be that day). She jumps right in and shows us how it's done!

Melissa Lunt has been a real life saver too. She comes whenever dad has questions or we need her help for different things. She is so gentle with mom and has such a soothing manner about her.

Laureen Bryce is always here in a flash whenever we need an extra person to help. Thanks Laureen!

And thank you to Aunt Leora and Aunt Marja who come daily and Uncle Clarence who drops in often. Thanks for being here to visit. We enjoy your company!

Kanani and I have been taking turns spending the night and one of us always being there with dad during the day, but because mom is completely bed ridden we don't have to be there around the clock. That frees up time so we can take care of our own families and mom without anyone feeling neglected! Kanani and I both feel it a blessing to be able to live close to our parents enabling us to help care for mom and dad at this time.

It's been a rough day for mom. It all started early this morning. . .12:30am to be exact! I showed up at 10:30pm last night for night duty. I had taken a 4 hour break to see my family and came back for the night. MOm was sleeping when I got here and she hadn't had a morphine since that morning. We woke her up for the morphine, but didn't give her a sleeping pill. Then at 12:30 am she woke up and she showed no signs of going back to sleep. She ate ice non-stop and drank water. She even ate a small container of applesauce. Mom has been pretty quiet lately, but that didn't hold true last night. She was so talkative! I couldn't always understand her, but that didn't stop her from talking. She would repeat everything I would say until she could pronounce it perfectly. I recited the scripture early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise, hoping she would get the hint. But she didn't. She just said healthy, wealthy, and wise over and over! I even got her to say my name over and over. (She will only say Kanani, Kuliana, and sometimes Leilani. Malia and I are the forgotten daughters!)
She said something to the effect of good today. That reminded us of the song have I done any good in the world today? We sang it the best we could. I didn't know all the words so I hummed while she sang(even though they weren't the right words) Then she said " I know you can find the words to that song. So I lazily got up and found the hymn book, looked up the right page and sang.

She said something about the color blue. She started singing a song about- coloring the matches blue. When she was done I said "I think you just made that up." She turned to me and slurred, "well yes I did." She was quite jolly the whole early early morning. All the while, I tried to sneak in a little shut eye, but as soon as I would get bundled up and my eyes closed she'd start up again! I was tired, but I didn't mind the one on one time we were getting. (maybe pay backs for all my teenage late nights she stayed awake waiting for me to return home safely)

She should have been exhausted, but she was still wide awake when the sun rose. I was eating breakfast and I could tell she was upset so I asked her if she was ok. "No, absolutely not." was her reply. Why not? "My mother, she used to like me, but now she won't let me go to sleep." No wonder she was up all night. Her mother is so excited for her to return home she wouldn't let her sleep! She is going to be received into so many loving arms when the time is right to move on.

Kanani came in the morning to change shifts and mom was starting to wear down. Her talking kept going and going but less and less understandable. Towards afternoon mom started sleeping good. But not soundly because she kept raising her arms and saying "Ow, ow" Were not quite sure where to pin point the pain, but surely it has to be from the spreading of the cancer.

The hospice nurse came today and assessed mom. She figured out why mom has been sleepless and agitated these last couple of days. She fixed the problem and mom says she feels "much better". She has been relaxed and peaceful ever since. I am grateful for nurses who know what they are doing and experienced Aunts who offer their input on how to make mom more comfortable. I and probably Kanani and Dad are learning lots from this experience. Who knows maybe I'll become a nurse! Ha ha j/k! Mom has told me more than once "good luck. . .college" So now I need to figure out what she wants me to go to college for!

I can't thank-you all adequately for all your love and support. Your prayers are felt as it gives us strength and understanding. Thank-you!

You never know what kind of day mom is going to have. We are still in awe with the drastic changes that can occur from day to day. Mom hasn't slept all day! Which is very, very unusual. Dad and Kanani were up with her at 6:30 this morning and when I took over at 9:30 am she was still awake. She never slept while I was on duty this morning or Kanani this afternoon. I came back for night duty at 9:00 pm and she still was awake! It's 9:37 and she is finally dozing off.

I had some good quality time with mom this morning. I had to be creative since she wasn't sleeping so I cut her nails and filed them. I even entertained the thought of painting them just to see what it looked like since I've never seen them any color but natural! I didn't though. . .no polish in the house. Mom was rotated up on her side facing the pictures of all us kids and grand kids. She just stared at those pictures and kept trying to say all our names. She then said "gether together", "gather together" I asked? "You want me to gather all the children together?" With determination in her eyes she said "gether together." I thought for a second. "Oh together forever?" "Yes together forever." I went on to say yes our family will be together forever. She sorta got a semi grin. I told her she didn't have to worry about leaving because we'd all be together someday. She repeated over and over "family forever, forever." And then with my teary eyes and croaky voice I sang Families can be together forever. She sang a word or two and I knew without a doubt that this principle of the gospel is true.

She also said "It's good to be here." And of course this is surprising me because the last two days we haven't been able to understand her. Kanani said on her shift that mom was talking in understandable sentences too. All we can say is wow!

Mom got a bath today which she loves. She loves getting her hair combed, her teeth brushed, and her hands and feet massaged!

Dad says he is doing so-so. Not great, not bad. . .just so-so. I do want you to know what a caring husband he is. I watch him tuck mom in at night making sure she has covers and is comfortable and that she takes her pills faithfully so she won't feel pain. He also makes sure she has her breakfast shake in the mornings. I know he loves his wife dearly and I am so grateful that they have an eternal companionship.

Not much to update on today. Just the same condition as before.

Mom is very much the same today as she was yesterday , but today she is having a difficult time swallowing. Moms feet are swelling back up, but her arms are looking better. We are starting to learn her code words for things. Good as Gold is lemon slush, Kale is bathroom, and Galileah is water. She has been dozing in and out of sleep for the last 6 hours with a good nap in between. When she is awake it is for a short time and she stares blankly into space. We try to rotate her from side to side to prevent bed sores. Once while trying to put her on her side dad was a little rough. In an angry tone with jibberish words she let him know she wasn't pleased! It was kinda funny.

Today has been a rough day. Mom is getting weaker and weaker. She has gone back to drinking through a straw in comparison to being able to drink from a cup herself. It breaks my heart to see the deterioration of her body. She is just so fragile. Mom's thoughts are clouded. The hardest part is not being able to communicate clearly with her. We have a tough time understanding what she needs and I know she settles for what we offer just so she doesn't have to try to explain anymore.

She has always been so strong in all she does and it hurts so much to see her this way. I can't wait for the day when she will be pain free. When she will have the freedom to move as she pleases and be able to have control of herself again. The day soon will come and I will be sad that she is gone, but will have joy to know she isn't suffering anymore.

ThanksgivingChristmas

Wednesday

Mikki, Webb, Clarence McBride, Gary McBride, Leora Taylor, Philis Bryce, Marja Hansen

Yesterday was a busy day for mom. Her brothers and sisters and their spouses came down to visit. All but Aunt Marie who lives in California. They were here by mid-morning. Mom enjoyed her time with them. She was coherent and had a good time visiting. Us girls stuck around in the background listening to memories of the good old days! They took pictures and said their good-byes, most of them for the last time. It was very emotional. It was a happy reunion. Mom was worn out after they left, but it was worth it to see them all again.

Today Mom is exhausted. She isn't as lively as she has been for the past two days. She is just worn out. Hopefully she will be doing better tomorrow after a good days rest.

LAST NIGHT: Mom slept all night again! We are so grateful that she is able to get a good nights sleep.

YESTERDAY: Mom was quite delightful again. She drank lots of fluid and had a bite of ham and cheese. She slept alot, but while awake was quite perky. Leilani gave her a haircut which she enjoyed. She actually watched 30 minutes of news on T.V. which surprised us because she hasn't wanted anything to do with it since going into the hospital. She takes her medication without complaint except for the "NASTY" potassium. It is given in a liquid form and she doesn't like it one bit. We fight over who has to give it to her in fear of when we do we will be on her bad list!

Aunt Leora kept us busy making cute tutu's for her grand-daughter's 6th birthday. We are grateful for distractions and it felt good to be productive!

Mom got a full 10 hour sleep last night with no interruptions! Usually she is up a couple of times a night going to the bathroom and wanting something to eat and drink and pretty confused most of the time, so the hospice nurse prescribed some sleeping pills and she slept good!

Yesterday mom was pretty lively. She drank lemon slushes, peach goup (a family dessert), ate oranges, and had a little appetite. She even told us to leave! She needed some time alone. Her thoughts were clear and she was having conversations with us. It has really thrown us for a loop to have her this way. Compared to what she has been we can definitely say she had a good day yesterday!